This is the time of year when our closets go through an identity crisis. One just never knows how to dress or what the weather is going to be – hot, cold, dry, wet or some unexpected combination. It can be confusing because it may be cold in the morning and warm in the afternoon. But the Bible says there is an outfit that always fits the circumstances.
Romans 13:14 tells the Christian to “put on (or clothe yourself with) the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for [indulging] the flesh…” You can always be well-dressed. This is the ensemble for every situation.
If you are clothed in Christ, then your relationships will take on a dynamic of Him and the way He approaches relationships. It also allows for each person’s unique individual characteristics to blossom and develop.
In the book, The Lies We Believe, Dr. Chris Thurman reveals a misconception inwardly carried by many…”To Get Along, Everyone Needs to Think, Feel, and Act the Same.”
Here’s what he had to say:
“We talk way too much about compatibility when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I do think we are supposed to look for people we can be compatible with in life, but some people are actually looking for a clone. What a lot of people mean when they use the word compatibility is that they want the people with whom they are in relationship to think, feel, and act the way they do if the relationship is going to survive.
We can, if we really want to, get along with almost anyone, no matter how incompatible we are-even those who think, feel, and act in ways that make us want to pull our hair out. You often hear it said that people can’t talk about politics or religion because those areas are too incendiary and could lead to the end of the relationship if we disagree too strongly. Why? Why can’t we handle someone thinking, feeling, and acting in radically different ways than we do without it being a threat to the relationship?
In my marriage to my wife, Holly, I’m a big, honking mess when it comes to this particular way of thinking. Or at least I used to be. When we were newly married, I was pretty black-and-white in how I viewed the right way to do things (code for “my way”). For example, we often had what I would call “thermostat wars.” In the summer, I would always want the thermostat set to seventy-eight, and she would want it on sixty –eight. The problem wasn’t that I was cold natured and she was hot natured; the problem was that as a husband, I thought my wife should think, feel, and act like me regarding the thermostat (and fifty other issues, like how to hang toilet paper, vacuum, load a dishwasher, organize a refrigerator, and so forth).
I couldn’t get it through my thick skull for a while that Holly had every right, as a unique human being, to be who she is and to want the thermostat set where she was comfortable. I’m happy to report that we have reached a compromise on the issue –seventy-two. Compromises usually mean that neither person gets what he or she really wants, so she is still too hot in the summer (but not as much as before), and I’m still too cold in the summer (but not as much as before). Ah, marriage.
The fact that people think, feel, and act differently is what makes life frustrating and challenging, but it also makes it interesting and “growthful” as well. As much as we may want to pull our hair out at times, seeing things differently can lead us to grow, mature, and have a different perspective on life that we wouldn’t have had otherwise. English poet William Cowper said, “Variety’s the very spice of life, that gives it all its flavor.” That is certainly true in relationships. We actually need to be thankful for how different we are,
given that it makes our interactions spicy, energizing, and a stimulus to grow into a more whole and complete human being. As the French say, “Vive La difference!”
The remarkable thing is we can all be clothed in Christ and still enjoy the tensions/stretching of the differences between us, i.e., differences in background and rearing, spiritual experiences, tastes and preferences, and Biblical/doctrinal education. Being one in Christ gives each of us the opportunity to be the unique creation of Jesus and to “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” (Romans 14:19)
Pastor Stephen
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